Big Gerts Brevet 2022 

 

 

The challenge – to ride from Bristol, to Glasgow, and back again, in under 14 days, organised by the infamous Will Pomeroy aka “Wills Hills”. Garmin proudly announced there were 125 climbs on our route. I can assure you it was nearer 1,250….

 The route also included a number of sections of “gravel” just for added pleasure.

 Total route 1700km, with 27,000m of climb – about 3.5 times up Everest. At times it felt like riding up Everest would have been the easier option.

 I started this event last year, sadly a quite spectacular and somewhat traumatic dose of food poisoning put and end to it three days in.  The trauma also seemingly deleted my memory of just how fecking hard this event was, and the relentless need to keep moving forward no matter how bad the suffering gets, I started it this year with memories of mooching along the lanes singing tra la la la la. 

 I’d aimed to do the course in ten days.

Super jazzy and hipster Bristol 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This bit of the route was flat....

Stage one: Bristol to Newtown: South Wales misery: 164km, 3,000m of ascent

Well, at least the 3km to the start line were easy… The legs were fresh, and unlike last years torrential rain it was a lovely day, a relaxed first couple of hours of cruising along, over the bridge and into….. the misery of riding in South Wales…. sharp Up, sharp down, around the corner, sharp up, sharp down, repeat all day. Was it really this hard last year???

Bridge-tastic

Into the wilderness

Stage two: Newtown to Chester: North Wales bonus savagery: 137km, 2,700m – including Wayfarer

 Audaxes are meant to be audacious. Some riders even had the audacity to finish the ride last year, so Wills Hills dutifully responded from changing it in his words from "Hard" to “HardMAX” and today a right treat was in store for us, new to this years course – Wayfarers – a 12km section of “gravel” that seemed to take about 17 hours to complete – just utterly battering the bike and the body. Walking most of it, riding tiny sections. Sense of humour was still intact but man-o-man what a day. Battered by the end of the day. All sense of tra de la de la now firmly lost.

Some lovely memories of parts of north wales that I’ve ridden in many times before, including some special memories around lake Vyrnwy.

 I take lots of photos when I'm in a happy place. North Wales is always a happy place for me - today lots of photos were taken, including the gem of a track over Wayfarers...

 

Thanks Will for this "Gravel...."

 

No words needed

Busy day out on the roads

Lake Vyrnwy, as pretty as ever

 

This is why we ride.

I love a gate, or a cattle grid, its my thing.

Stage three: Chester to Bainbridge: The awkward third date: Yorkshire “Gravel…” 170km, 2,500m – including Cam High Rd

Through Manchester / Liverpool suburbia and out into  Ribble, the spiritual father of my bike (A Ribble) and past the scene of last years crime – the guilty party being a fish sandwich at the Ribblehead inn.  More deeply joyous “Gravel” today – the Cam High Road which I’d ridden last year – last year I was very new to gravel and this section smashed me to pieces. This year, with a bit more experience, it smashed me to pieces… (just a tiny bit less).

I always find the third day on any trip especially hard, the body simply isn't used to the constant battering and today, well, it all got a bit too much for me - I needed a bit of a lie down and a cry in a field for a bit. Everything hurt, and fatigue was coursing through the body. Today the hoped for 10 day adventure became “10-ish days…”.  Realistically 10 days was achievable, but would have been utterly miserable, and whilst I’m happy to have misery on the bike that’s not where my mindset was for this trip. 9/10 suffering was fine, 10/10 misery was not.

A cool place to pass by en route

 

Quite a good quality road for Wills Hills...

 

A Ribble in Ribble

 

No wonder milk tastes so good

Much needed after the tears

 

Stage 4: Bainbridge to Kielder:  Anyone for an eye test? 135km, 2,700m of climb.

 Through Barnard Castle and past the infamous Specsavers.  Barnard Castle was also as far as I got last year before things became “quite spectacular” with my food poisioning – its also now into parts of the country less known to me – the very remote northern parts of England – truly special places with so few visitors.  My legs have officially left me now. This is going to be one long tough trip, with a long long way to go yet.

Breakfast of champions

 

Just the empty roads, the curlews, peewits and sheep

 

I mean, we could have gone round it... but whats the fun in that...?

 

Just bliss on a bike.

 

Stage 5: Kielder to Galloway: Wind scale 11/10 148km, 1,830m climb.

 One of the hardest and in parts most dangerous days I’ve had on a bike – at best a constant block 25 to 30mph headwind down in the valleys, and then climbing over the passes was truly scary – being blown across the road. I’m no stranger to crosswinds, and I'm used to managing issues like this out in hills and mountains but this was proper scary – many many miles from anywhere, unable to ride safely, and not really able to even walk with the bike. For at least an hour or so I was considering this as ride-ending, it just wasn’t safe – but mercifully once the hill was crested there was a bit more shelter, and slow progress was made.

 Into Scotland at the beginning of the day, seems to have taken forever to get here, and still a long long way to go.

 

A rare trip north of the border for me

 

Just day after day of this view, heaven

 

Super pretty

 

Little things like this help ease the pain, temporarily.

 

A pretty end to a dangerous and difficult day

 Stage 6: Galloway to Glasgow:  Please make the wind stop… 145km, 2,100m of climb

 Through Kielder forest – on actual proper gravel! Properly remote now, just no-one around apart from the millions of birds, sheep and vast swathes of destruction from storm Arwen.  Yet another death march to start the day today, battering on into the same headwind to the very remote Glentrool, the most westerly part of the route and a merciful 90 degree turn north bringing some respite from the relentless hard work, finishing the day in Glasgow, the turn point of the trip.

Actual proper rideable gravel!

 

Yet more actual rideable gravel!

 

Super pretty Galloway

 

Anyone for a butt nugget?

 

Stage 7: Glasgow to Carlisle: Progress! 180km, 1,400m of climb

 A mercifully easier day, with little puffs of tailwind, flying all the way back into England.  Still a long way to go on this trip but felt so good to make so much distance in one day, and nice to spin the legs out too.

 

I love a field of silage

 

Here comes England

 

Still a long way from anywhere, apart from Gretna Green

 

Always a pleasure bumping into this nutter.

 

Stage 8: Carlisle to Lancaster: And…. Hardknott  162km, 2700m of climb

 Hardknott and its evil twin sister Wrynose strike fear into even experienced cyclists.  Its just nasty, really really nasty, at the best of times. Despite several attempts on a racing bike with no weight on fresh legs I’ve never got up it without stopping / walking a bit -  After 1,200km, and on a fully laden adventure bike, its well, never going to happen. It didn’t happen for me anyway – it did happen for someone I was riding with, and a few tears were shed at the top – a truly astonishing performance.

Dinner

 

 

The calm.... before the storm....

 

 

Yeah, I wasn't giggling....

 

That sign always sends shivers through me. Such a privilege to be fit and healthy and be here, even if I still can't get up the damn thing.

 

A very quiet and peaceful Hardknott

 

Evil twin sister Wrynose awaits...

A well earned beer

Stage 9: Lancaster to Bakewell: 158km, 3,400m climb

 I do love Bowland, it’s a really special part of the country – as pretty as the Dales, Moors but never really visited by tourists, so lovely and quiet and peaceful. It is however a bit of a pain in the ass to cycle through – one of those places where you feel like you will never escape….

 Today also had the added delight of yet more “gravel” – the utterly unrideable Salters pass, yet again what felt like several hours of walking and misery, battering the bike and body. At least the views were good though….

 Still feeling a long way from home, a bit of a quiet soldering on type of day. 

Thanks Will.....

Nice day for a walk.....

 

hmmmmm pieeeeee

 

 

hmmmmmmm nom nom

 

 

The super pretty ladybower

Stage 10: Bakewell to Mickleton: Are we nearly home yet?  162km, 1,700m climb

 

A hard and frustrating start to the day, trying to escape the Dales, before finally coming out into the flatlands. Contemplation was briefly had at the through of pressing on into the night and finishing inside the initial 10 day target – but whilst the mind said yes, the body firmly said no – so so incredibly tired now.

 

Any excuse to stop and take a photo.....

 

 

"Fuck it we're almost home"

 

Will, you spoil us with actual rideable gravel

 

 

 

Stage 10 (ish) Mickleton to Bristol: Please no more misery…. 110km, 1,700m climb

 

Just the Cotswolds to go now, way harder than they should have been. The mind wanted to be back in Bristol but the hills were once again relentless, taking several hours before finally escaping. Annoyingly I finally rediscovered my legs today, they had been awol since day three, and decided to finally feel perky again a week later, and only 5 hours before the end…..  And the end, along with added bonus Bristolian hipster unicyclist, finally arrived.

Pretty to look at. Less pretty to ride through with 1,600km in your legs.

 

It was a truly wonderful adventure, full of animals, birds, remoteness, peace, block headwinds, savage “gravel”, special people, and Wills Hills whisky and pizza at the end.  I’m truly deeply content with having done this as a 9/10 adventure rather than 10/10 misery – and I’m very tempted to do the more aggressive 7 day version of this next year. Humbling also is Andy, who went round the course in 5 days. Yes, half my time. And I ain’t no slouch…

 

5 days. Un fucking believable.

Until next time – much love xx.

 

Yeah, exactly that.